Caledonia Argus

Agencies work to prevent child abuse

Posted: 4/9/02

By Shannon McKinney
Argus News Reporter

Carolyn Devine isnít ashamed to talk to you about how she was sexually abused as a child.

For many years, though, she lived with her secret and experienced the shame and embarrassment that victims of sexual abuse often feel.

In recognition of Aprilís child abuse prevention month and sexual assault prevention month, The Argus will be publishing two articles on sexual and physical child abuse in Houston County.

Devine has chosen to turn her experience into something positive by working with victims of sexual and physical abuse in Houston County. She is part of the Houston County Child Abuse Prevention Council and works with Houston County Womenís Resources.

Devine was sexually molested by a teenage male baby sitter as a child between the ages of three and eight. At the time, she never knew anything was wrong. In fact, it wasnít until sixth grade when she realized what had been done to her was wrong.

She recalls, ìIt was embarrassing. It does mess up your whole sense of your role in the world.î

She explained her perception, ìMen got to do what they wanted to women and women didnít have a choice. I always felt like that. I didnít feel I had a right to tell them no.î

Fortunately, Devine began reading books on the subject in her 20s and worked her way through some of her misbeliefs and feelings.

She even confronted her abuser, who confirmed with her that he had indeed, committed the abuse on her. He also apologized.

This was a turning point for her in her life, she said, because it meant her feelings were validated and that the abuse really happened. She said family members tried to tell her that she imagined the abuse and that it didnít happen.

Now she doesnít dwell too much on it. ìDoing what he did to me gives me the ability to have empathy for other people that have been abused.î She added, ìI have forgiven him. My guess is that he was victimized as a child. I donít hate him.î

She admitted, however, that she feels lucky that her abuser wasnít a family member, someone she might have to see from time to time.

80% of abuse is by someone the child knows

Statistics show that most abuse cases occur by people the child knows whether it be physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.

In Houston County, intrafamilial sexual abuse is handled by the human services department. Victims who report abuse by non-family members are handled by the city or county police departments.

Scott Ingalls, a social worker for Houston County Human Services, said in this county, some of the sexual abuse is generational. ìItís not surprising to find that people who are abusing have been abused. Itís a learned behavior. The child maintains and develops the same lifestyles as their parents.î

For this reason, he said, early intervention is critical. ìWorking with them really young and identifying appropriate resources. We do a good job with referrals to Winona or La Crosse County.î

Ingalls noted that 50-75% of sexual abuse cases are forwarded to human services by schools. Teachers and staff are mandated reporters of suspected abuse.

Caledonia Police Chief Duane St. Mary said police and human services can interview a child on allegations of sexual or physical abuse without the consent of the parents.

If ever after speaking of the abuse a child is afraid to go home, the child will be put into protective custody until the issue is resolved. ìNo child should be afraid to go home,î said St. Mary.

Linda Coffield, Houston County Investigator/ Child Protection Officer, is trained to interview children who report sexual abuse. She will also interview witnesses and the person who has been accused. She, too, sees how the abuse can be generational.

She commented that sexual abuse between an older to a younger sibling may be difficult for the younger child to report. Coffield explains, ìI think that they know what theyíre (the older sibling) doing is wrong. At the same time he/she (the victim) loves and respects the older sibling and doesnít want the family broken up.î

Ingalls said research shows that children who are abused somehow feel they deserve to be abused. The abuser may add pressure. ìThe abuser will say that if you tell, theyíll take me to jail. If he does tell, and all those things do happen, now all of a sudden there is enormous pressure. I canít even begin to imagine what that is like.î

Warning signs of sexual abuse

Devine said that parents should trust their gut feeling about situations they feel uncomfortable about.

The following are preliminary warning signals of sexual abuse and do not necessarily mean that a child has experienced a sexual abuse or assault. This could also be an indication of other problems.

Emotional changes: anxiety, irritability, withdrawal or depression, sleep disturbances, change in appetite, new fears, abrupt change in personality and low self-esteem.

Behavioral changes: unusual interest in/or knowledge of sexual acts or language inappropriate to the childí age, suicidal threats, childís denial of a problem with marked lack of expression, aggression, anger directed everywhere, reluctance to go to a particular place or be with a particular person. He may act out with frequent tardiness or absence from school, drug and/or alcohol abuse, delinquency or running away or stealing. There is excessive masturbatory behavior, wearing many layers of clothing despite the weather, drop in grades or attitude toward school, accumulating gifts such as money candy etc.

Physical changes: A child may be diagnosed as having a sexually transmitted disease, recurrent physical complaints such as infections, cramps or abdominal pains, dizziness, gagging, and severe headaches. A sudden weight loss, weight gain or diagnosis of an eating disorder. Pregnancy when the victim refuses to reveal information about the father of the baby, self mutilation.

Signs in young children: Nightmares and other sleep disturbances, bed wetting, clinging/whining, regression to more infantile behavior, agitation/hyperactivity, irritability, aggressiveness, evidence of physical trauma to genital areas, abuse of animals, fire setting and sexual acting out on other children.

Rebecca Laisy, social worker at Houston County Human Services, said that there are many warning signs for sexual abuse and is hesitant citing them all. ìSome people get too worked up over warning signs,î she explained.

But those who are the victims of sexual assault may suffer the following effects: poor relations with other family members, poor boundaries with other children or other adults, being over-sexualized where sex is an obsession and sex is constantly on their mind, can become either really sexually active or avoid romantic type of relationships.

Laisy explained that the degree of these effects depend on who the sexual assault happened with and how many times it happened.

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