A father, three sons, and
four thoroughly ravaged cars
Family celebrates dadís birthday with demo derby
Posted: 8/19/03
by Andrew Miller
Argus Sports Writer
When the Heaney brothers were mulling over what to get their dad for his 49th birthday, they decided that a series of head-on collisions would do the trick.
Brothers Joe, Jeff, and Jared entered their dad Harold in his own personal demolition derby at the Houston County Fair on Sunday. To add a personal touch to the gift, they entered themselves as his competition.
Harold was skeptical about the idea at first. ìI think he thought we were kidding,î explained Jeff, ìbut the joke turned into reality.î
Joe, Jeff, and Jared are active competitors in area demolition derbies. The brothers claimed three of the top four places at the Eitzen Fun Fest demo derby in July, and Jared took third place at the feature demo derby on Sunday at the county fair. Yet Harold, who last entered a derby in the late 1970s, had never been hesitant to boast about his own demo derby skills to his sons.
ìHe kept giving us hell, so we built him a car to prove him wrong,î Jeff said.
The brothers had entertained the possibility of an all-Heaney demo derby for months. But it wasnít until they got the okay from Jeff Rud, the county fairís demo derby organizer, that they started working on the vehicles. They procured two Buicks and two Oldsmobiles, and began getting the cars ready two weeks prior to the fair.
Initially, the paint jobs were supposed to have an element of humor to them. ìThere was supposed to be three black ones, and they were going to paint mine like it was a target,î Harold recalled.
But as the fair drew near, the Heaney brothers realized they wouldnít have time to finish the paint jobs theyíd first intended, and instead opted to just paint their names on the cars. Harold still contends that his vehicle was marked to give his sons an easy target to aim for.
ìThey painted mine yellow,î Harold said with a laugh, ìto show that they gave me a lemon.î
When the big day arrived last Sunday, it was all business. Dad and his three sons had the pit to themselves in the first exhibition of the day, and the competition turned into a testament to cold-blooded individualism. No pacts were forged among the brothers, all alliances formed in childhood were temporarily dissolved, and there was no teaming up on dear old dad. It was every driver for himself, and the billowing smoke and steel-shredding carnage that ensued was a spectacle grandiose enough to rival any birthday party thrown in the last 20,000 years.
ìIt was fun, weíve never done anything like that before,î said Harold. ìI didnít think we knew who was hitting who.î
Father and sons went at each other mercilessly for a good 20 minutes. Harold was the first to be eliminated, followed by Jeff. Joe earned bragging rights after outlasting Jared in the final minutes of the melee.
Afterwards, Harold was presented with a trophy by daughter Jadi. The event, he noted, was a family affair that will not be soon forgotten.
ìJust being a family out there, three brothers and a dad, thatís what was special about it,î Harold said.
From now on, whenever a carís frame gets smashed into rubble, its fender twisted into metallic conceptual art, or its engine overheated to the point of explosion, one memory will pop into Harold Heaneyís head: the best birthday ever.
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