Caledonia Argus

Local resources can help those in abusive relations

Posted: 12/16/03

By David Heiller
Argus News Editor

The reasons why Justin Meyer allegedly killed Mark Sullivan on December 8 may never be fully understood, but jealousy and a history of abuse seems to be at the forefront of the tragedy.

The woman Meyer allegedly kidnapped after the murder had an order for protection against him. Meyer wanted to get back together with her, and had called the previous day.

He was not supposed to have any contact with her, but that did not stop him from allegedly breaking into her rented house and committing the crimes.

Itís hard to say whether the crime could have been prevented. But there are warning signs to assess whether batterers will kill, according to Rosanne St. Sauver, program director for Houston County Womenís Resources in Hokah.

Warning signs of a potentially lethal situation would be if there is excessive jealousy, if the abuser is quick to anger, if the abuser threatens suicide, or if the abuser has mental illness, St. Sauver said.

Another danger signal is if he or she says things like, ìDeath before divorce,î or ìYou belong to me and will never belong to another.î

Also, if he or she owns weapons and has used them or threatened to use them, this increases the potential for lethal assault.

There are several local resources for people who are in abusive relationships.

One is Houston County Womenís Resources at 112 Main Street, Hokah. It has many services, such as:

ï Advocates who are on call 24 hours a day to give information on what their options are, and advocates who can work one-on-one with people. The toll-free number to call is 1-866-367-4297. The local number is 507-894-2676.

ï A weekly support group for women, parenting groups, and chemical dependency groups.

ï Support for kids who have been abused or have lived in abusive homes.

ï Help in obtaining restraining orders and finding transitional housing.

ï Emergency funds for things like motion detectors or pepper spray.

The group also provides this checklist for people who are in an abusive relationship to follow.

ï Find out where you can go for help. Tell someone what is happening to you.

ï If you go to a hospital or doctor, tell him or her what happened and ask him or her to document the violence in your medical file.

ï If you are thinking of leaving, plan now. Hide a spare set of keys, money, important papers, etc.

ï Consider obtaining a protective order.

ï Call for help.

St. Sauver said that support from friends and family is critical. One thing she always tells people who see abuse taking place is to intervene. Do it in a respectful way, but do it, she stressed.

ìI hope that everyone realizes that they can do something to make it different,î she said. ìWe all have responsibility. This is where we live. We need to make it be the place we make it want to live.

ìEach and every one of us has a responsibility to end violence,î she added. ìIf you do not say anything, silence is like giving permission or saying itís OK. Maybe women would be able to come forth sooner if they knew they had support.î

St. Sauver noted that men are abuse victims too. ìItís not a womenís issue. Itís a social issue. We need to come together to end violence and hold people accountable.î

St. Sauver noted that Houston County has had several domestic murders in the past. ìThings like that do happen here,î she said.

Here are some other resources for people dealing with abuse to call:

ï Houston County Sheriffís Office: 507-725-3379, or in case of emergency, 911.

ï Houston County Mediation and Victim Services at 507-725-5831. The grant-funded program is located in the Houston County Courthouse. It is a general crime program that works with primary and secondary victims of any type of crime. Its main focus is to work with victims as their as case goes through the court system, according to director Michelle Herman. She also helps with orders for protection and restitution.

ï Franciscan Skemp Mayo Health System in La Crosse has a program called Safe Paths. Its phone number is 1-800-362-5454, extension 7804 or 1-608-791-7804. It provides services related to domestic abuse and sexual assault, including a confidential and safe place to talk, information and referral, individual counseling, and crisis intervention. Safe Paths helps people create a plan for what they are going to do to stay safe.

ï Gunderson Lutheran in La Crosse has a Domestic Abuse/Sexual Assault program. It provides direct services for people impacted by domestic violence and sexual assault. It also offers services to people who are not in crisis, with things like educational programs, referrals to other agencies, counseling, and legal advocacy. Call 608-775-5462.

ï New Horizons in La Crosse is a shelter and service center for victims of domestic violence and their children. They offer counseling, support groups, legal advocacy, housing advocacy, and general assistance to people in need. Also available are various services for children. Everything is free of charge and confidential. Call 1-608-791-2600 or 1-888-231-0066.

ï First Call for Help: call 1-800-362-8255.

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