Caledonia Argus

Lovingly remembered- family, friends share memories of Mark

Posted: 12/16/03

By David Heiller
Argus News Editor

The doorbell at the Mary Sullivan home rang a lot last Thursday morning. The phone too.

Friends were calling or stopping in, giving hugs, shedding tears.

It was just a 50 minute slice of life that this reporter saw, but it was enough to confirm what all of Mark Sullivanís friends and family were saying: that Mark was a young man full of life, and that it was hard to comprehend his loss.

Mark died at age 24 on December 8. That news is reported elsewhere on this page. This story is about a few recollections that his family shared around Maryís kitchen table on December 10.

Mary and her other three children had a lot to say about Mark. Their words were punctuated with laughter and smiles, and tears that were a mixture of sadness and happy memories.

Erin Kearney, 29, Markís sister, started with his smile. ìAnd the eyes that went with the smile.î

ìThey just sparkled,î Mary said. ìI donít really think he had a mean bone in his body.î

And all his friends, his sister Sarah, 21, said. She remembered him telling her once when he was bringing some friends over, that some of them may be weird, but be nice to them.

ìHe loved life,î Mary said. ìHe could never sit still. He just had to be on the go.î

Shawn Kearney, Erinís nine-year-old son, said his uncle Mark was really good in the derby at the county fair. And he played Play Station and rode his four-wheeler with Shawn. ìI beat him on my dirt bike though,î Shawn said.

Sarah asked him if Mark had turned him into a Green Bay Packer fan.

ìNo,î Shawn replied firmly.

Mary said that Mark would come to her house every Sunday to watch the Packers on TV. Thatís when she would see him the most, because he worked during the week and he was always busy with his buddies. He had a good group of friends, Mary said. ìTheyíve been here every single night,î she said. ìItís helped us and I hope itís helped them.î

Most of those people have been friends since grade school. ìI donít think weíve ever seen a class that close.î

Mark was a hard worker, Mary said. He liked doing jobs of physical labor, from milking cows at the Jerry and Susie Frank farm, to laying bricks for Kittleson Masonry. ìHe loved them, he loved them all,î Mary said.

Bill Kearney, Erinís husband, remembered how Mark had helped him put siding on his house one Saturday, even though Mark had put in a long week for Kittlesons.

Mark loved Caledonia.ìThis is where he wanted to stay,î Mary said. ìHe loved this town.î

And he knew everybody. He was like his dad in that way, Mary said. Her husband, Bill, died in 2000. ìI like to think Mark was a lot like his dad.î

ìSensitive to people of all ages,î Susie Frank, one of Maryís best friends, said.

And never bored, Erin said. ìHe just jumped on every opportunity that was offered to him.î

Sometimes he picked on Sarah, Shawn said. ìHe was a big joker.î

ìYouíre right honey, he was,î Mary said.

ìHe always took me under his wing,î Sarah said. ìHe always looked out for me.î

Mark was a people person, Sarah said. ìIn the last couple days, Iíve met people I didnít even know he knew.î

Mary said her heart goes out to the woman who was with Mark at the time of his death. ìSheís 21 and going through a really, really hard time right now,î Mary said with a pause, then added, ìMark liked her, she had to be a good person.î

Mary has no grudge against the woman. ìNot at all.î

Mark was very close to his roommates, Matt Klug and Korey Moore. ìHe was really happy living with them,î Mary said. ìI just wish his life wouldnít have been so short.î

Erin recalled the time Mark stopped in to give her son Noah a gift on Noahís birthday. Mark was Noahís godfather. It was late in the day, and Mark was still dressed in his work clothes, but he had to drop off a gift.

ìHe gave Noah a toy lawn mower that blows bubbles,î Shawn said.

The doorbell rang. More friends stopping in. I commented on that. ìThere hasnít been one minute,î Mary said. ìThe community has been absolutely fantastic.î She said she got a call from an old friend that she hadnít talked to in 12 years.

The doorbell rang again. Everyone at the table laughed.

I asked if Mary had talked to the parents of the man who authorities say killed their son. Mary said she hadnít. ìTheyíve got their own hell to go through,î she said. ìMy heart goes out to them too. I feel sorry for his parents, I really do,î she said.

Can the Sullivans answer the question of why this happened?

No, Sarah said, they canít answer that yet.

ìAt a time like this, itís really hard to be a Christian,î Mary said. ìIím trying really hard. Sometimes when weíre sitting around here bawling, I think heíd probably be laughing at us.î

ìHe probably thinks weíre all pretty silly, sitting around here crying all day,î Sarah agreed, with a laugh that her big brother would have appreciated.

ìI like to think that Mark is with his dad, and that gives us a lot of comfort,î Erin said.

ìThatís the only comfort,î Mary said. Then after a pause she added that that they have received comfort from their family and many good friends.

ìWe wanted to do this for Mark,î Mary said as I thanked her and Erin and Sarah and son Dave for talking with me. ìSo it was hard but it was really easy, just to do this for Mark.î

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