Caledonia Argus

Morgan Marie inspires many to love and give

Posted: 10/28/03

By Shannon McKinney
Argus News Reporter

When Morgan Marie made her home for three months on earth with Rick and Cindy Frank and their son Derrick, she filled their world with joy.

Morgan died in 1992 from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Even though sheís been gone for eleven years, her memory lives on through pictures, words and actions of family and friends who speak out about SIDS and who encourage others to appreciate people more.

October is a special month for the Franks because it is SIDS Awareness Month. It represents another opportunity to talk about Morgan, about SIDS, and to thank people for lending a supportive ear when they needed it most.

How does one handle the grief of a friend or relative who has lost a child, an infant?

Ironically enough, itís through a mixture of talking, tears, and laughter.

Remembering a personís odd quirks, and retelling their stories, often brings smiles and eventually tears because that person is no longer physically there to build another memory.

But a personís life, no matter how short, can inspire others to give more, love more and be more than they ever thought they could.

A life, a poem

Mabel Guillien first became impressed with Rick and Cindy Frankís family 37 years ago when she was in the hospital with cancer. Her husband, Lee, had been good friends with Rickís parents, Ray and Rosie (RoseMary).

Rick, who was 14 years old at the time, was in the hospital recovering from a farm accident where he lost a portion of his right arm.

Guillien couldnít believe that his parents would take the time to visit her when such a tragedy had just happened to their son.

ìThey were still kind enough to see me; it put a soft spot in me for Ray and Rosie,î said Guillien.

So, when Morgan passed away at three months old, she decided to write something special.

Guillien wouldnít attend Morganís funeral because she didnít think sheíd be able to handle it. Instead, that night she sat down and began to pen ìMorgan Marieî.

Less than an hour later, the work was complete. It was a way for Guillien to express her feelings to the Franks.

Guillienís poem is printed with this story.

Writing is a gift

Guillien has been writing poetry for 40 years and calls it a ìgift.î

It began when she was at home with her children. Her creative inspiration occurred when she was in the midst of ironing clothes. ìI would start dreaming and thinking and different things would come to mind,î she said.

She often wrote along themes about God and family. One of her first poems is titled ìIs God in your home?î

Over the years she has created many poems for people who have requested she write one for a special occasion or for a eulogy.

Anytime she receives requests, she reminds them that she canít promise a poem, because she wonít write it if she isnít inspired.

Guillien says she writes when the spirit moves her. ìSometimes I donít even know what Iíll write. I sit down and just let it flow. Sometimes it takes half an hour or an hour.î

If Guillien encounters a mental block, she walks away. After a few hours, she reads it again and asks herself, ìDoes it flow? Can I see a picture? ì

The final approval comes in the morning after sheís slept on it. If it still flows in the morning, she knows its a keeper.

She wasnít the only person, however, who thought Morgan Marie was good.

The poem has recently been published this year in two books, ìClocks of the Seasonsî by International Library of Poetry, and ìTheaters of the Mindî by Noble House.

The poem can be viewed on the internet through the first book by logging on to www.poetry. com. and typing in Guillienís name.

Morgan made precious memories

Morgan Marie was born on January 13, 1992.

It was an exciting time with Morgan, who was one of three recent births in the Frank family. There are several pictures with three moms all pregnant together.

It was the first girl in the family and Cindy loved to dress up Morgan in different outfits and take pictures. In fact, there were so many pictures, that Rick complained once. Now, he says there doesnít seem to be enough.

Cindy remembers that Morgan had her own little personality. Rick agrees.

He recalls the time when he and Derrick had the afternoon with Morgan, while Mom went out to get groceries. ìThe minute she was out the door, she started bawling. We held her, we fed her, we laid her down. This went on all afternoon. And the minute she walked in the door, she stopped crying,î said Rick.

ìShe was definitely a mamaís girl,î he added.

Itís hard for Cindy to speak of Morgan without revealing her deep love for her. ìShe is so missed,î she said.

She recalls Morganís smile every morning.îShe was very cuddly. She loved to be wrapped up. She was so nosey. Sheíd make sure she didnít miss anything. Sheíd nap with one eye open.î

The family often makes trips to Morganís grave for different holiday seasons and occasions. Every Christmas, an ornament the Frank family created adorns the top of the Christmas tree.

Every October 7, Cindy and Rick join the rest of the world to light a candle representing all children who have passed away.

Still making a difference

When Cindy first came back to work, she encouraged people to talk to her about Morgan.

Rick said many people donít know how to deal with people who are grieving. He said, ìThe best thing they can do is to approach you. You need to talk about your grief.î

Since Morganís death, the Franks have reached out to others by teaching classes, helping others grieve, and providing input to health providers on the needs of a grieving community.

When the Franks first heard about another family who had a child die from SIDS, they called the family and asked to meet with them. He said, ìThere was a lot of crying and a chance for you to open up.î

People grieve differently. It was a whole year before Rick was able to realize his feelings and begin the grieving process. ìYouíre taking care of the family and you donít give yourself a chance,î he explained.

The Franks were able to give Gundersen Lutheran Medical Center input on the need to expand its counseling sessions to siblings of the child, grandparents, and even daycare workers.

Morgan passed away while in daycare. Rick recalls that it was hard on the family of the daycare provider. The children in daycare made cards for Morgan. Cindy recalls one child who drew a perfect little picture of Morgan sitting in her car seat.

Rick suggested to Gundersen that counseling needed to include these other people who care for the baby.

Acting on his suggestion, Cindy remembers the evening when everyone got together to remember Morgan. ìEveryone opened up, and got to tell their feelings, what they felt but never spoke,î he said.

The Franks are grateful for the Minnesota SIDS center which mails brochures giving them the latest updates on SIDS. The rate of SIDS deaths have declined since doctors have instructed mothers to always lay a child down on their back. It used to be that one child in every 100,000 children would die of SIDS. Now its .53 in every 100,000 to die of SIDS.

Another gift, and carrying on

The Franks were blessed with another baby boy, Ryan, a few years later.

Cindy said it was hard to go through the pregnancy. ìIt was so scary,î she said.

She went through a time where she bought everything on the market that had anything to do with baby safety. She slept next to Ryan for the first six months until Rick urged her to let him sleep alone.

ìYou kind of go crazy(with buying things). Then, you stop one day and say, ëThere is absolutely nothing I can do to stop it. I canít do that to Ryan.î

Memories of Morgan are such a part of the Frank family, that Ryan feels like he knows his sister. One time during religion class at St. Maryís, he asked the teacher if people grow in heaven.

The teacher forwarded the question to Guillien who thought about it and came up with an answer. Although her answer spanned a whole page, included is an excerpt of Guillienís answer:

ìWe measure time by minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, etc. Godís measure of time and eternity is Godís measure....Her body died at three months, but her soul lives on forever and ever with God, according to His measure of time.î

Appreciating your family is one thing that Rick said he would like others to learn from this experience. ìLove and hug your kids everyday, because you never know what tomorrow may bring,î he said.

Morgan Marie

God started His planting early this year
When He gave you Morgan Marie.
She grew in your love
from the very beginning
A love which you gave so abundantly.

Morgan grew as a delicate
rosebud would grow
glowing with color and beauty.
Yet, God chose to pick
that rose for Himself
For all of Heaven to see.

Sometimes, I wish we had the answers
To know what God has in mind.
Like - why does He sometimes
pick rosebuds
Instead of the older kind.

I wish I had the right words
To say and comfort
my friends such as you.
But - rosebuds are my very favorite.
What can I say? or do?

My thoughts are prayers
which include you
As you walk through
your hours each day.
Put your trust in the Lord
as you struggle
And He will show you His Way.

I believe Morgan would like to tell you
ìThank you for giving your life to me.î
ìThank you for all the hugs and kisses.î
ìYou gave me your love so abundantly.î

When summer arrives and flowers bloom
With color and beauty to see.
Remember - to enjoy the tiny rosebuds.
I know you will always
love Morgan Marie.

ñMabel Guillien- 1992

Facts about SIDS:

-SIDS is the leading cause of death in babies after one month of age.

-Most SIDS deaths occur in babies who are between two and four months old.

-More SIDS deaths occur in colder months.

-Babies placed on their stomachs are much more likely to die of SIDS than babies placed on their backs to sleep.

-African American babies are twice as likely to die of SIDS than white babies.

What can I do to help lower the risk of SIDS?

-Place your baby on his or her back at nighttime and naptime.

-Place your baby on a firm mattress, such as a safety-approved crib.

-Remove all fluffy and loose bedding from the sleep area.

-Make sure your babyís head and face stay uncovered during sleep.

-Donít smoke before and after the birth of your baby.

-Donít let your baby overheat during sleep.

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