David Heiller
Argus News Editor

My brother Glenn sent some funny newspaper headlines that have actually appeared in print, although thankfully not The Caledonia Argus. Iíve seen some of them before, but they never fail to make me smile, so Iíll pass them on here. (I canít help but wonder if some of them werenít intentional.)

* Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

* Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jay walkers

* Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

* Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

* Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

* Farmer Bill Dies in House

* Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

* Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

* Stud Tires Out

* Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

* Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over

* Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

* Eye Drops off Shelf

* Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

* Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

* Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

* Shot Off Womanís Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

* Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

* Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

* Miners Refuse to Work after Death

* Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

* Stolen Painting Found by Tree

* Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

* Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

* Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

* Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

* Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84

* War Dims Hope for Peace

* If Strike isnít Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

* Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

* Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

* Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

* Deer Kill 17,000

* Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

* Man Struck by Lightning Faces BatteryCharge

* New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Top of Page

Caledonia Argus
314 West Lincoln St.
P.O. Box 227
Caledonia, MN 55921-0227
507/724-3475

E-Mail: editor.argus@ecm-inc.com