David Heiller
Argus News Editor

The anti-bullying program at Caledonia Middle/High School on August 30 got me thinking. Bullying is a complicated subject, and I can barely scratch the surface here.

But speaker Barbara Coloroso was able to sum up the subject well in two hours.

Her main point seemed to be that we need to teach kids how to think. She said to do this, children have to be able to say, ìI like myself, I can think for myself, and thereís no problem that canít be solved.î

All these things start at home. Thatís something we need to remember. Schools can and should address bullying, but the behavior starts much younger than that. It comes from bad parenting, probably from parents who are bullies themselves.

Think of the bullies that you knew or know. (Iím sure some come to mind.) How did they get that way? Not on the playground or in the lunchroom or bathrooms at school. That was and is their playing field. But the foundation was laid at home. Thatís why it was so good that Coloroso made the point that parents need to increase responsibility and decision making for their children.

The other point that sticks with me is how important the bystander is in bullying. It takes a lot of courage to stand up to a bully. Coloroso said Joe Darby is a hero for reporting the prisoner abuse scandal at Abu Ghraib prison. I agree. The same goes for helicopter pilot Hugh Thompson, who saved defenseless Vietnamese civilians during the My Lai massacre on March 16, 1968.

The pressure from their fellow soldiers to say nothing must have been intense. Thompson in particular paid a big price ñ he got a lack of support on future helicopter missions that almost cost him his life.

But they spoke up. They acted, took a stand.

Coloroso noted that one of Darbyís teachers recalled that he was an independent thinker, and didnít follow the crowd. Thereís that importance of making choices, of thinking for yourself.

Itís so easy to go along, or to look the other way. I recall one time in tenth grade history class, one of my classmates made a derogatory comment about black people. A certain word was used. Steve Mau, our teacher, stood up to his full height, which was about 7-1/2 feet, and got a fierce look on his face, and told about a black roommate that he had in college, and that there was nothing wrong with that man or with black people. Mr. Mau would not have had to do that. It took a lot of courage in the all-white town of Caledonia in 1968. But he did the right thing.

I remember another high school experience (high school brings out our best side, doesnít it), where a bully coughed up a big hunk of phlegm and spit it on the back of the head of another student. Mr. Percuoco was out of the room at the time, and the rest of us stiffs just sat there. A few of us mumbled our disgust, barely, but no one stood up and said it was wrong, knock it off. We were all afraid weíd be the next recipient.

School is full of things like that. Life is too. Itís still a struggle figuring out how to do the right thing.

I tip my had to Caledonia school officials for working on this problem. Every little bit helps. And it starts at home, with us.

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