Posted: 5/31/05
Another chance at love, and a new fight against cancer
By Jane Palen
Managing Editor
Perhaps destiny is when our futures are shaped by the hand of God. Itís when a long shot becomes a saving grace, when the feeling that something that was meant to be becomes a reality. For Mary (Stellick) and Patrick Boutch, destiny means that when the world comes crashing down, someone is there to hold it up for you.
Mary Stellick and Patrick Boutch were friends more than 30 years ago. She was 18 and lived in Caledonia, he was 22 and lived in La Crosse. They hung out ělike brother and sister,î Patrick recalls.
ěI always thought the world of her,î he said of Mary. Mary admits that she hoped that their relationship might blossom into something more, but it didnít happen. Patrick moved to California, and Mary stayed in Minnesota. They wrote for a while, but eventually lost contact, although they thought of one another from time to time.
About 11 years ago, Patrick moved back to La Crosse, and one of the things that he wanted to do was look up Mary.
By chance, Patrick met Houston County Sheriff Mike Lee when both were getting oil changes on their vehicles. They struck up a conversation, and when Patrick found out Lee was from Caledonia, he asked about the Stellicks. Through that chance encounter, he was able to get in touch with Maryís parents, and eventually with her.
The two friends soon connected and caught up on each othersí lives. By the time Patrick left Mary that day, he knew that he wanted to take their friendship to another level.
ěI knew I would come back and marry her,î he said.
ěIt was like God put us together,î said Mary.
Patrick didnít realize that Mary had kept his picture in a frame for all those years. And he, in fact, had kept a photo of her.
That reunion was six years ago, and Patrickís premonition was right. The two were married March 16, 2002.
After finding each other after all those years, the story should have ended with them living happily ever after. But it didnít quite work out that way.
In April of 2004, Mary found a small lump on her side which felt like a BB. Doctors said that it was probably a cyst, and to keep an eye on it.
The news three months later that the lump was cancerous was bad enough, but cancer was also discovered in Maryís brain, left thigh, right lung, and liver. And then, another lump showed up on her back. Mary has been undergoing treatment for cancer ever since.
Patrick is not a stranger to cancer. He has been close to 10 people who have fought cancer, and in three of those cases he has been involved with the hands-on care-giving. Instead of feeling cheated out of carefree days with his new wife, he has taken it as his personal responsibility to provide emotional support, encouragement and love. Itís not the life they imagined when they got married, but they are grateful to have each other.
ěI would take the cancer out of her and put in me if I could,î said Patrick. ěI have seen family members walk away from a spouse with cancer. I am steadfast in my commitment to my beautiful wife. Sheís my gift from God. I could never walk away. We will face this head-on and do whatever it takes.î
ěOur life together is still wonderful,î added Mary. And as a practical matter, Patís job at Peerless Chain in Winona provides the couple with much-needed medical insurance. Mary said Patrickís presence has also been a blessing for her son, Bill Gauerke, 23.
Several friends of Maryís have organized a pancake brunch benefit to be held Sunday, June 5, beginning at 10 a.m. at the United Methodist Church. The event also includes a bake sale, silent auction and live auction (1 p.m.). Organizers are Sue Engen, Carol Schiltz, Glenda Miller and Jane Hayes.
The Boutches have been overwhelmed and strengthened by the outpouring of support they have received from the community. Because of the concern everyone has shown, Patrick has developed a website with regular updates on their lives, Maryís condition, and family news and photographs. The site can be accessed at www.boutch.com.
Caledonia Argus
314 West Lincoln St.
P.O. Box 227
Caledonia, MN 55921-0227
507/724-3475
E-Mail: editor.argus@ecm-inc.com