By Joe Nathan
Center for School Change
Itís rare to see something that is simultaneously an "adult" movie, and very much something that would be great for an entire (extended) family to see. But this describes one of the best movies Iíve seen in a long time: "Dan in Real Life." If you are looking for good entertainment AND a movie that will help you and your youngsters understand each other better, this is it.

Normally I write about schools and education. Iím shifting today because everyone acknowledges that successful families help produce successful students. And this movie can easily help your family.

In brief, "Dan in Real Life," is the story of a man with three daughters, ages 17, 14 and about 8, whose wife became ill and died four years before the movie begins. The movie focuses on three days when Dan and his daughters join his parents and other members of their family for a reunion.

Early the first morning, Dan (portrayed by Steve Carell, who has been in several other movies and plays the boss on the TV show "Office") goes to a local store and meets a really intriguing woman (Juliette Binoche). They spend the morning talking, and the "click" between them is clear.

Dan returns to the family home, and also immediately learns that this fascinating woman is his brotherís special friend. Trying to deal/cope with this is one of the things that plays out over the next several days. Carell is terrific, not over-playing his role. I confess that I really empathized with the kind of loneliness he portrayed, looking for someone special that he could love.

But equally important, a number of common parent/teenager themes play out. The writer, director and producer of this movie make sure that these conflicts are NOT clichÈs. We donít see the "Father Knows Best" idea of many years ago. But we also donít see the "daddy as dummy" theme that has crept in to many TV shows and some movies.

These are real people who care about each other, but struggling, sometimes making mistakes, and trying hard to work things out.

I wonít ruin the movie for people who have not seen it (and I hope that you do). It has plenty of humor, compassion, insight and love.

Over the last year Iíve written about the challenge of being a parent of teenagers. A number of people have responded, agreeing that itís tough, and that they would love some help.

This movie is one kind of help. I saw it with some of our children, now in their 20s. Afterwards we went out to eat, and spent another hour recalling many of the conflicts weíd had that this movie described.

We agreed ñ "Dan in Real Life" DOES seem like real life. The movie helps us understand how people who love each other make mistakes, learn from them, and move on. If youíre looking for an upbeat, honest and entertaining thing to do with your family, this is it.

Joe Nathan, a former public school teacher and administrator, directs the Center for School Change, Humphrey Institute, University of Minnesota jnathan@hhh.umn.edu,

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