Mark and Lindsey Shay of Caledonia, are pictured with Connor. Photo by Charlie Warner
By Charlie Warner
Argus News Editor
It was a very long nine months. They went through a lot. There were some very sad times, but also some happy ones too. Through it all Mark and Lindsey Shay said the thing that impressed them the most was the outpouring of support from the Caledonia community, the staff at Mayo Clinic in Rochester and the Ronald McDonald House, where they lived for 229 days.
The Shays found out that Lindsey was pregnant in February of 2010. On July 1 of last year she found out she was carrying twins.
On July 8 during a routine visit to her regular baby doctor in La Crosse, she and Mark were told something was wrong and they needed to get to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester right away.
Lindsey was only in her 21st week, and according to the specialist they saw, it was going to be touch and go how much longer she would be able to carry the two young lives.
She was sent home with specific orders for complete bed rest. She and Mark returned to Rochester on July 14 and the doctors decided she needed to be kept at the hospital, laying in a bed with her feet tilted far above her head in an effort to keep the babies safely inside Lindsey as long as possible.
The babies were given steroids to expedite their lung development.
The doctors were hoping to keep Lindsey from going into labor until the babies could reach their 24th week. They were able to reach that goal, by one day. Lindsey went into labor at 2 a.m. July 19. Connor was born naturally, but Kaylee was breach and was delivered by C-section. Connor weighed 1 pound, 9 ounces and Kaylee was 1 pound, 6 ounces.
“I didn’t get to see my babies right away, because I was in one hospital and the babies were in another,” Lindsey recalled. “I could only watch them on TV.”
Both babies had a myriad of medical issues, as many premature infants that are born that early experience. Kaylee only lived two and one-half days.
Connor was being fed intravenously during the first two weeks of his life. When doctors attempted to feed him through a feeding tube connected to his stomach, they discovered he had a number of spontaneous perforations in his intestines.
During the next three months Connor underwent a bevy of surgeries trying to correct a number of issues he had with his digestive tract.
During one of the surgeries Connor experienced a small stroke, which damaged his brain, and seems to have impaired his sight somewhat.
“The doctors are hopeful that because Connor was so young when this happened, some of the issues caused by the stroke might improve as time goes on,” Mark noted.
Connor continued to experience issues with his digestive tract and because he hadn’t been using his lower intestine and bowels, they were not functioning. A second tube was used to pull the waste from Connor’s body.
On Jan. 1, 2011, Mark and Lindsey received some good news. A G-tube was surgically placed in Connor’s stomach for feeding and his bowels were working.
During the first two months of 2011, Connor’s condition began to improve. He started gaining weight. But he couldn’t go home.
Lindsey spent every day and night in Rochester until Connor came home on March 4. Mark spent all but one night at the Ronald McDonald House in Rochester and commuted from Rochester to La Crosse, where he worked. The only night Mark stayed in their Caledonia home during the 229-day ordeal was the night of Kaylee’s funeral.
“When we finally came home, it was kind of like moving in all over again,” Lindsey said. “We had four car loads of stuff. It was quite a thrill carrying Connor into our home.”
During the seven and one half months the Shays had been in Rochester, their neighbors took care of their home and their yard. The grass was mowed, the snow was shoveled. And folks made sure everything was okay inside as well.
Mark and Lindsey both said they can’t express how much they appreciated all of the support from the Caledonia community. Neither are from the Caledonia area. Mark worked in La Crosse and Lindsey in Decorah, so they felt Caledonia was a happy medium between their two jobs.
So they built a new house in the development just east of the middle/high school campus. They got to know some of their neighbors and started attending St. Mary’s Church. But working out of town and not being related to anyone in Caledonia, they probably didn’t have a real large support system here, right? Wrong.
“The outpouring of help and support from this community is amazing,” Lindsey said. “Father Gregory Leif made constant visits.”
“Our neighbors were checking to make sure everything was taken care of with our house,” Mark added. “Our neighbors went way out of their way to make sure we were taken care of.”
And once the Shays returned home with Connor, the number of persons offering help in any way they could was unbelievable, according to Mark. People brought meals, they held a baby shower for Connor, they offered up pray chains at church, they put on a bake sale to raise money to help with medical expenses.
Mark and Lindsey decided they wanted to be part of the March of Dimes fundraising walk. They hoped to raise $500. So far co-workers, neighbors and relatives have pledged more than $5,000.
Connor went to church for the first time on Easter Sunday. Mark and Lindsey said the prayers and well-wishers at the church that day was overwhelming.
“I just can’t say enough about how well people have treated us and helped us during our time of need,” Lindsey added. “We’ve only lived in this community about three years. There really aren’t that many people who know us. But it didn’t matter. They wanted to help and they certainly have. And for that we were so very appreciative.”
A year ago on Mother’s Day Lindsey Shay knew she was pregnant and would soon be a mother. This Mother’s Day Lindsey and Mark will be able to celebrate the day with their son Connor, the memory of their baby daughter and knowing that the community they live in has a lot of very caring, loving and supportive folks.
You can contact Charlie Warner at charlie.warner@ecm-inc.com
