By Tom Murphy
Mary Ann Schmitz has seen all sides of cancer. She is a 16-year
survivor of cervical cancer and was a caregiver to her late husband
Willie. A son Ken also died of cancer.
“You need two things when you fight cancer, lots of faith and wonderful
support from family and friends,” Mary Ann said in an interview last
week.
That’s why the American Cancer Society is recognizing the role of
caregivers this year. Houston County Relay for Life will be held
at Caledonia Area Elementary School August 1-2.
Caregivers serve in a variety of ways. It’s not just the support
and love of family members, but the variety of contact from people in
the community. Many of them come forward when news of a person’s
illness becomes known.
In 1992, Mary Ann went to Dr. Fleischmann for her annual physical,
which was required by the school district because Mary Ann and Willie
shared a bus route. The only sign she had was that she had been
unusually tired. “I knew about self-examination and I had some
problems which I thought the physical would identify.”
It did. The pap smear caused Dr. Fleischmann to refer Mary Ann to
Dr. O’Leary, a specialist at Franciscan Skemp. “Dr.
O’Leary told me I had stage 1 cancer.” She felt fortunate
to have caught it early. He told me I would need surgery to
remove a tumor, and set the date for February 13,” she recalled.
Mary Ann who has operated Mary Ann’s Floral and Gifts from the same
location in Caledonia for over 50 years, told him it would have to be
delayed because of Valentine’s Day, one of the busiest in the flower
shop business. The successful surgery on February 17 removed a
tumor the size of a grapefruit.
Another surgery had to wait until after Mother’s Day, also because of
business demands. A period of radiation ran through May and Mary Ann
has been cancer-free since that time. She has her annual physical
which includes the pap smear and a mammogram, as well as blood tests
through Dr. Rien at the Caledonia Clinic.
For her husband Willie, it was an extended battle as the cancer
spread. He survived for 15 years after first being diagnosed with
lymphoma in 1979. When told more than once that his time was
limited, he would respond, “That’s what you think!”
At first diagnosed with a salivary gland infection, stronger
medications from the local clinic and a specialist did not work. After
a month, the diagnosis of cancer had been made. What was once a
small lump on the outside of the throat became numerous and had spread
to the other side of the throat. “Once he spotted the
first lump, he saw Dr. Poston within two days,” Mary Ann recalled.
Willie’s stubbornness and independence remain the stuff of stories to
this day. Right up until the end, he would make it across
the street to the fire barn to manage the doors for the departing fire
trucks and properly park the vehicles of the responding firemen.
He also determinedly got up and down the stairs of the city auditorium
with his walker to call Legion bingo and continued as a crew chief.
As the cancer popped up in new locations, there would be more
surgeries, chemotherapies, and radiations. The names of various
people who provided support come to Mary Ann’s lips, even after 14
years.
Former superintendent Miles Miller may have been the first person in
the door. A cancer survivor, he ‘talked and talked’ to
Willie. Pastor Rolf Storlie, who would later die of cancer, would
frequently visit and pray in brief stops at the house.
“I know we don’t go to the same church, but I think we all have the
same goals,” Pastor Storlie would say. “I remember before he
would leave, he would put his hand on Willie’s head and say a brief
prayer.” Willie’s long time friends, Elmer Worden and Bob
Meisch, were constant visitors. Bud Demmer was also a frequent
visitor.
“One of Willie’s best supporters was Wilma Jennings. “When
she first heard about Willie’s health, she told him, ‘You and I are
going to fight this, Willie. Keep smiling. Keep
fighting. Don’t shed any tears.’”
Willie and Mary Ann benefited greatly from the support of their
brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews from the Schmitz and
Welscher families. “Our daughter, Deb Halverson, worked here at the
time and she did double duty caring for her parents and running the
shop,” Mary Ann recalled.
When talking about Ken, it becomes more difficult. She remembers his
6:30 a.m. phone call the day after Thanksgiving 2004. Mary Ann
thought when he called that he would tell her that he and his wife,
Bonnie, were going to have another baby to join four-year-old Willy.
Instead, he told they had known for a week he had inoperable
cancer. They didn’t want to ruin the Thanksgiving holiday for
anyone. It was cancer of the stomach lining. “Like his dad,
he was determined to fight the cancer.” Ken died in May 2006.
“Kenny’s greatest fear would be that his son would not remember him.
They spent lots of time together. They would make their ‘deer runs’ in
the woods. Willy loved it and he still talks about his dad,” Mary Ann
said.
“Bonnie is a great person. She was excellent to Kenny. And she is
doing a great job of raising Willie. I’m so proud of her and of
Willy. He is a good kid.” Mary Ann says.
She also talks about the support provided by Ken and Bonnie’s
neighbors; the Leo Simons, the Joel Hesses, the Mike
Stempers, the Lawrence Fruechtes, Tony Hammell, Mike Burg, John Burg,
and the ‘deer hunters gang’. Mary Ann also talked highly of
Bonnie’s family members, as well as Ken’s brothers’ and sister’s
families.
Spiritual support from Father Leif and Sister Michaeline also meant a
lot to the Schmitz families. “They give you faith
from above so you can have faith in yourself,” Mary Ann said.
“Support so helps people suffering from cancer. I can’t tell you
how many people supported me,” she recalled. Two examples were a
large heart-shaped cake she received from Barb Ferkingstad and the
strength of Gen Jahn. She was a three time cancer survivor who
told Mary Ann, “Whatever will be, will be. The Lord will provide
for me.”
Mary Ann was raised a Welscher and how could there be a story without
that family’s wit? “Tell everyone that the best cure for cancer
is bingo! It’s a family joke.”
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